Another Rainy Day

I listened to Rodney’s phone ring while Lex shouted curses behind me.  “Rodney, pick up. C’mon, Rodney. Pick up the phone.”

“Hello? Amanda?”

How do you sound nonchalant when your better half is moaning and cursing no more than ten feet behind you?  “Um…”

“What did she do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“What did Lex do? I can hear her all the way over here at the clinic, and I don’t need the phone to do it.”

I was glad that Rodney couldn’t see me blush.  Or see what I was wearing. Or wasn’t wearing.

“She had an accident.”

Rodney snorted.  “Really? That is so unlike Lex. What did she do this time?”

Lex twisted her knee, while trying not to stumble over a hay bale that fell on her head when she tripped over the pitchfork that she knocked over when she threw her hat toward a hook on the wall and missed and knocked the pitchfork over and I jumped and accidentally released the trap door to the hay loft and barely got out of the way in time. One got Lex. Now…how to tell Rodney without revealing that I was naked at the time.

“It was raining.”

“And she slipped in the mud? I told her she needed to get new boots. She wouldn’t hear it. Told me that she’d had those boots for fifteen years and would wear them another fifteen years.”

“Listen, can you just come on over?”

I heard Rodney sigh. Then he agreed to come on out to the Ranch as soon as he had a chance to finish locking up the clinic for the day and pick up Jeannie.

“Rodney is coming over, Lex. How’s your knee?”

I could see that it had already started to swell up.  It was easy to see, because Lex started undressing the moment she saw me in the barn, waiting for her with a bottle of champagne and nothing but a smile on my face.  That’s the other reason she tripped. She was hopping up and down on one booted foot, with her jeans around her ankles, trying to shed them without tearing her eyes away from me, in mid question, “What’s the occasion, love?”

It’s amazing how fast a pending romantic evening can dissolve into an emergency call to my brother-in-law, a frustrated and injured wife, and me, suddenly remembering that I am still naked, and then running around the place looking for the rest of our clothes.

“You know, Amanda, the last time we had our clothes off in here?”

I blushed.

“You’re blushing? After all these years, you still blush?”

I guess I needed to come clean.

“The downpour today reminded me of when we first met, and how that weekend, I tried to help you feed the cattle.  Remember when I fell off the hay bale and you caught me?”

“Yeah. The first time we kissed.”

“The rain reminded me of that. I started feeling nostalgic, so I set up this little rendezvous for us and sent the kids to stay with Martha and Charlie for the evening.”

“That’s so romantic, Amanda.” Lex reached for me, and winced when she twisted her knee again.

“Careful, honey.”  I found my clothes and dressed. Then I got Lex’s shirt off the ground and helped her dress.

Lex buttoned up her shirt and asked, “I’m still naked from the waist down.”

I tried to anticipate how much longer it would be before Rodney would get here. Then I ran to the house and got Lex’s bathrobe. Back in the barn, I helped her to put it on.

“Rodney thinks you slipped in the mud. And that’s how you hurt your knee.”

“Uh, huh.”

Lex has the most devious grin. “So what are you going tell him? There’s no mud in here.”

“Oh I took care of that, too.” And reached for the bucket I’d brought with me along with Lex’s robe.


“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you, love?”



Patience? What Patience?

Alright, everybody knows that I’m not the most patient person in the world. Between caring for our three children and a grown up Lex, I don’t have a lot of time to spend on anything that needs more than a little knowledge or expertise. Which is why the following happened.

“Amanda! Stop! What are you doing?”

“I’m about to throw this video player out the window, that’s what I’m doing.”

“Honey? Do you want to talk about it?”


“That was you I heard cussing up a blue streak, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” At that, I put the Blue-Ray player back on the entertainment center shelf and plopped down into the desk chair that sat nearby. “You know how you get when you’re cooking?”

Lex looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded at me. “The cussing?”

“Yeah. Well, I found what makes me curse like a sailor.”

“Sweetheart, what I heard coming from this room would make a sailor blush.”

In spite of my frustration, I had to laugh.

Lex walked over to the entertainment center and picked up the box. Then she sorted through the various cables the electronics store salesman had sent home from me when I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about when he asked me what kind of input and output connections were on our television. “So, maybe we could try installing this thing together?” Lex’s brow furrowed, and she sighed. “I can see your problem right here.”

“You can? What is it?”

“Well, you have too many cables and not enough things to plug them into.”

“Uh, yeah, I knew that already. Which cables go where? That’s’ what I want to know.”

“Hmm…okay, I know what to do now.” Lex looked triumphantly at me and tucked the new player under her arm. She walked over to the window and opened it wide.

You know something? My wife could have been a quarterback. She hurled that DVR right out the window and through the kid’s tire swing. It bounced a few times and then smashed into pieces against the fence.

“Feel better?”

Lex grinned at me and said, “Yes I do. You?”

“I’d say that was one fine throwing arm you have there, honey.”

Then we called Martha and asked her to watch the children. We got into my SUV and headed back to town.  That night, we curled up on the couch together and, with the children stuffing their faces with popcorn, enjoyed a 3D animated movie. No DVR needed. We’d came home with a 3d smart TV with a built in disk player. At least that’s what the salesman said we got as he refunded us the cost of all those cables.

As for me. You turn it on and hit some buttons on the remote control. While I’m confessing things, I might as well add that Lex kept me from hurling the remote control right out of the window when I couldn’t get it to respond to any of the buttons I pushed. She opened it up and said, “Hon, the batteries go this way.”