The shriek made me come running up the stairs. Lex had awakened with a headache that morning, so I asked her to sleep in while I got the kids up and ready for school. The cereal had just hit the bowls when the largest, “What the fuck?” I ever heard made me dash out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
I ran to our bedroom and into the master bath where I found Lex glaring at herself in the mirror. “Are you alright?” Lex didn’t move from her position of being nose to nose with her reflection. I looked around the room, but nothing seemed out of place. Lex hadn’t been injured lately, so I didn’t expect to see blood or bruising.
“Look at this!” Lex pointed to her chin. I moved closer to do just that. “Don’t look!” she commanded.
“Honey, you’re going to have to decide if you want me to look or not.”
She continued to stare at herself in disbelief.
“Lex, you’re making me nervous. What’s going on? What is it you want me to see, or don’t want me to see?”
She slowly turned in my direction and pointed at a spot on her chin. Her face was one big pout. “Amanda, I’m getting old.”
“Well sure, Lex. We both are. And we have three kids who are determined to make it happen faster.” I reached for her hand so I could see what she was distressed about.
“A chin hair?” I suppressed a laugh. “Okay, so you have a chin hair. The first of many.”
My sister once told me that I wasn’t very good at comforting others. Like the time she fell from a tree in the back yard and instead of helping her up, I sat there and pointed to all the places where she was scratched up and bleeding until she passed out from the sight of her own blood.
Back to present day and my wife who had stomped back into the bedroom and sat on her side of the bed, her arms crossed. I followed her into the room and made her uncross her arms. Then I climbed up on the bed and proceeded to kiss her on her chin where the offending hair was. Not soft, but not stubbly, either.
“Honey, we’re both getting older and our bodies are changing.”
“You still look sexy, Amanda. Not like…” She waved her hand near her face. “This.”
“Thanks, love. And for your information, I still find you incredibly sexy.”
“And it wouldn’t matter if you had one chin hair now or the hundreds you could have by the time you’re sixty.”
Like I said, my comforting skills could use work. Lex’s eyes were huge and I could tell she imagined herself with a full beard.
“Look at me, sweetheart. Look at my chin.”
“I don’t see anything.”
“Pluck. I have chin hairs, too. But I’m a blonde so you don’t notice them. Besides, I pluck them out.” I got off her lap and went to the bathroom to retrieve a pair of tweezers from a drawer next to the sink. I came back in and said, “Okay, love. Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you.”
When Lex had her eyes closed, I quickly used the tweezers to yank the hair free from her chin.
“You can open your eyes now.”
“What did you do? That hurt.”
“This.” I held up the tweezers so that she could see that the hair was gone. Then I led her back to the bathroom to see that the hair was, indeed, gone.
She sighed and touched her face to be sure it was smooth again. Then she looked at me and gave me a smile. “Still sexy, you say?”
“Very.” I slipped my arms around her and began to explore neck and shoulders with my lips. I let my hands wander until I could hear her moan.
Lex picked me up and carried me back to the bed before shutting the bedroom door. When she laid down next to me, I started to remove her night clothes and enjoy the feel of her back and her bottom, completely forgetting that we had kids to shuttle into town.
Suddenly, my hands stopped roaming except for the right hand which kept feeling one particular spot.
“Amanda? What are you doing?”
I used my index finger and thumb and gave what I’d felt a little yank. It was a hair, about a half-inch long and, naturally, I had to show her what I just plucked from her butt.
Yeah, I know. My comforting skills could use some work.