Smoking Salmon – Part One

My sister and I decided to go on a day trip to Austin together last weekend. We had no specific destination in mind. We just wanted to do some sisterly bonding without the kids and spouses.  My dad and his wife, Lois, elected to take Jeanne’s two, Teddy and Hunter. Martha and Charlie had Mel and Eddie while Lorrie went with Shelby and Rebecca for the day.  Lex had some appointments that might result in expanding our customer base for our cattle business and Rodney had patients.

So we were free. Not moms. Not wives. Just two sisters out for a day of indulging ourselves. The first thing we did was to make our escape while the kids were all still asleep. We got up at six and met at the diner to have breakfast.

Of course, Francine, who has been fixated on my wife since before I knew Lex, kept asking where she was and looking expectantly at the restaurant’s front door. After she refilled our coffee and picked up our breakfast plates, she said, “I’m sorry that gorgeous gal of yours couldn’t join you this morning. What all happened? Didja have a little spat?”

I was in the mood to enjoy the day, so I decided to have a little fun. “Lex is just fine. She’s sleeping in for a change.” Then I beckoned Francine to come closer and whispered just loud enough for Jeanne and her to hear, “I’m afraid I wore her out last night and again early this morning. But she was so doggone sexy, I couldn’t help myself. Besides, she kept begging for more.” Francine dropped the tray she was holding, and Jeannie snorted coffee out of her nose.

“You are positively evil, Sis,” Jeannie admonished as she buckled herself into the passenger side of my Ford Expedition. “I love that about you.”

I beamed. “Serves her right. She’s been lusting after Lex for years.”

But I digress. (I’ve always wanted to say that, but there isn’t much chance to do that on a ranch.)

But I digress. (Yeah, it does sound cool!)

But I digress. Austin was our destination. Austin was our playground for the day. We were going to own Austin, Texas! Yeah! But first we had to find our way around because we ended up on a toll road we don’t remember being there before and ended up way east of where we thought we were going.

“It’s your fault,” I said to Jeannie.

“Why is it my fault we’re lost? You’re the one driving.”

“You’re the navigator.”

“Who died and made me the navigator? I hardly come here. You and Grandma shop here all the time.”

“Well, Grandma isn’t here now, is she?”


“You’re supposed to pick up the slack.”

“Listen, Amanda. You’re making up rules as you go along. I’m not the navigator.”

“You are if I say so.”

“Am not.”

“Are, too.”

Jeannie started rifling through the glove box and looking between the seats. “This is stupid. Where’s your GPS?”

“I don’t have one.”

“How could you not have a GPS? We have a GPS and we don’t friggin’ go anywhere!”

“I usually have Lex with me. She knows where everything is.”

“Well I wish she was here now.”

“Me, too.” We glared at each other for a moment and then burst into laughter. “Reminds me of when we were kids.”

“Me, too.”

“Alright. Let me find a place to pull over and look at the map. Then we’ll find an electronics store and buy a GPS, okay?”

“Okay. Just make sure we find one soon. I want to see my kids again before I grow old in this car.”


“Stupid head!”




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